My life's been pretty good, except for the absence of deviantArt. With the arrival of my new laptop computer as a birthday gift, I am now able to access dA whenever I want (with the help of wireless, of course)! I just got back from a three day camp about youth philanthropy and grantmaking, so I'm exhausted. During the camp though, I had the experience of listening to Kinetic Affect, a slam poetry duet between two guys. Really awesome. It also inspired me to keep writing and doing whatever else I do. I found this awesome site for poetry called AllPoetry.com that even has free "online schools" that anyone can take. You simply follow the instructions and write a few assignments up and BAM learning kicks in. Just thought I'd mention it.

[link]
That is the Free Hugs Campaign YouTube video. Personally, that video inspired me. This guy had this spontaneous idea to give free hugs to people who wanted them, and he put his plan into action. Yeah, it probably sounds a teensy bit creeper-ish, but I don't think that's the message. You can read his message at: [link] (The Free Hugs Campaign Website). I think it's at least worth a look if you haven't heard of it before.

Um...yeah...
So, I haven't been on in a while.
I uploaded some new pictures I took a bit ago. I'm planning to go on a picture-taking rage next weekend at my cousin's wedding. Too bad my camera sucks (which means I'll probably get very few good pictures). I shall try though, Scout's honor.

I've been having an internal battle with myself about whether or not to continue randomly sketching crap for the rest of my life or take an art class. Truly, I doubt I have much (if any) really artistic talent. I mean, I get pretty bummed when I see how freakin' awesome everybody else is and then I try to draw something and it looks like a bird crapped on my paper. It probably doesn't help that at least two of my friends that I see everyday are majorly artistic. One even has her artwork at a local nature center (she's pretty darn good).

Now I'm stuck here wondering where I fit in. I love art, but I don't think I'm able to create any of it. Next year I'll be taking a basic design course and a drawing I course in school, but I have an inkling that won't be my best class. Should I find a summer course or give up? I'm at the point where I need to ask anybody out there that only knows bits and pieces of me and is able to give me their opinion as an artist.

And yes, I might be a little melodramatic and angsty. Just in case you were wondering.

If you've think you've heard the loudest group of people on earth, think again. Take a small group of maybe seven or eight kids hyped up on a few sugar cookies and hot chocolate all talking on top of one another and what do you get? A meeting of Girl Scouts at my house. I'm not dissing Girl Scouts or anything (hey, I'm one of them) but my younger sister's troop had to have woken up most the neighbors. I think I hear my inner ear screaming: "help me!!!!!" They're finally leaving...but I have the strange feeling the next meeting will be the same.

Other than that, life's pretty good. It's pretty much back to the same old routine of get up, go to school, be bored all day, go home, go to bed, and repeat. I'm kinds getting bored of life, if that's possible. Maybe I can find something to jumpstart myself again. Reading books help, but I'm running out of good books. Any suggestions?

I'm a hot chocolate person. I despise coffee and think tea is too bland. Yet here I am, sitting at my computer, drinking tea.

It's called Raspberry Royal. It smells okay, and I added in less than a teaspoon of honey for a little sweetness (even though I can never taste it). It leaves a trace of something on my tongue that I can't quite name, but it's neither a good taste or a bad taste. Sitting here right now, I'm kind of deciding what to do with my life. I always do this throughout the year, when the time strikes me. A thoughtful calm envelopes me and for maybe a day I feel relaxed and grateful and do a lot of thinking. You know, how can I save the world and the like. Also, what direction my life is taking at the moment.

I'm kind of stuck.
It's not so much the stuck one feels at a fork in the road, but it's similar. I can see (or think I see) where my life will go if I let it, where it will go if I shape it, and where it will go if any one thing goes wrong. It's not an omniprescent feeling because I know my mind confuses itself at times. The good thing about seeing where my life could go is that it means I still have many oppurtunities and open windows/doors.

The bad thing: I suck at decision making.
And if I try to ignore the decision and avoid making it, something inevitably will change, forcing me once again to make decisions. If I try to do something to see if that path will lead anywhere, it normally doesn't affect me. So I never know what to do and am always stressing my brain trying to come up with answers. Who knows where my life will go?

Crap. I just spilled my tea.